Hi! Been a bit. A few things to go over this time, cause a lot has happened since I got my license:

• Got in contact with an old IRL friend!

This one is pretty huge! A friend of mine I've known since childhood got in contact with me again. She's a trans girl just like me now, and she actually invited me over! And because I got my license, I got to drive there! It was lots of fun, and I'm planning to come back. We were both really happy to see each other.

I've got a few thoughts though. Actually going to the apartment of someone who's living on minimum wage (and her two roommates in the same situation), it really grounded me a bit. Maybe the obvious money difference between us isn't as dehumanizing as I thought. They're still kind and fun people to be around. On the other hand though, I still feel like I've yet to be properly humbled by needing to work to live.

Since then, with her, I've been a bit off and on. I like her a lot and want to get to know her better, but, frankly, I feel like I've lost a lot of the eager initiative and interest I used to have when meeting, or re-meeting people. She's noticed my anxiety issues and seems tolerant, but I still don't want to overwhelm her, and frankly (again), I'm not happy at the thought of my anxiety overwhelming my other friends.

• Insurance trouble.

The insurance my family was on was getting to be absurdly expensive near the end of its plan. So my mom was forced to hastily switch us over to something new. Unfortunately, neither my psychiatrist nor my therapist take it, forcing me to leave them both. I'm currently looking for new ones, so wish me luck. That being said, it is sad. I felt like I was getting somewhere with my therapist.

• Making up with my mom.

We've been at each other's throats for YEARS. It reached a breaking point recently and we had a fight. Then we talked it out. I'm not really going to go into detail here. While it's possible it might not last forever, it's nice while it's happening right now.

This does give me a lot of thoughts about bitterness and hanging on to the past. I've recently been thinking a LOT about some people I used to talk to more regularly, and where we fell off. I usually look back with scorn, but, I'm wondering if it's possible for us to make up.

• About new friends and wonder.

I talked to someone dear to me about this and finally came up with a way to express this. I've lost the wonder I used to have when meeting new friends and enjoying company. I used to have so much of that all the time. I was hurt badly, and I seem to have lost it. I hope I'll be able to get it back with help from whoever my next therapist is.

And hey, speaking of new friends - just today, I met someone new, one of London's friends. It went really well and they seem nice! Although my brain keeps shouting at me about how I'm awful for not expressing interest in their hobbies - which I can't really help. But a friend can just be someone you vibe with and hang around, right? Maybe it'll be okay. I'm trying to prove that to myself.