(CW: Injury, body horror, mentions of surgery, self-injury)

2003

A little kid gets on his tricycle. He's riding around outside. His mom is watching nearby. It seems like a normal day.

That is, until the trike hits a snag in the concrete, sending the boy tumbling off the side. His nose smashes clean into the pavement. He's just lying there looking up. The mom rushes over and helps, taking him inside and getting him cleaned up. It hurt a lot, but surely it would be fine.

Over the next few weeks, he starts to have trouble breathing through his nose. It hurts more and more every day. At one point he curiously pries open a nostril with two fingers in front of the mirror. There's some kind of gross, fleshy something inside. With no idea what to do, he tells his mom and tries to show her, but it's ultimately fruitless.

2009

The boy's more sapient now, and attending primary school. He hasn't thought about that accident in years. But it's brought back to the front of his mind when other kids around the school start to point it out. They ask him why his nose looks "like that", a few shooting looks and glances like he's some kind of exhibit.

At one point he had innocently challenged another kid to see who could touch their nose to their tongue. When he did so, he was met with "that's not fair". He didn't realize it at first, but his nose was far enough down his face that he could do this effortlessly.

Hm.

2013

At this point the injury has turned from a minor interesting fact to a full on inconvenience. The boy's left nostril is completely sealed off by some kind of obstruction, his head hurts a lot, and he hates looking at his own face.

Thankfully, he and his mom have been planning something for a while. They have a visit with an ear-nose-throat doctor. The doctor is thankfully ready and willing to work with them, but laments how unusual it is to operate on such a young child.

After the operation, he tells him to "come back in 8 years" for a follow-up surgery. Recovery from the surgery is harsh. The kid has to attach a cloth to his ears to catch falling blood for a few weeks while still attending school. He receives looks of pity, of not understanding.

2018

Whatever happened in the surgery has left the (now nonbinary) kid fighting with their own body on a daily basis. It took a few years to develop, but at some point, their nose started fighting back. Every day it filled with scabs and crust, causing more pain and stress the longer it was left untouched.

Every day they were forced to scratch and claw it all out, bringing themself to tears and nosebleeds, much to the scorn of their parents and friends who asked if they were "digging for gold again" and such. If they weren't able to clean out their nose, or simply forgot, they'd pay for it the next day with even more of it blocked off, obstructing breathing and giving a very real feeling of their nose pulling on their head.

After several years of this, this kid is disillusioned. They have no idea if this promised surgery at 21 would help at all, considering the last one left them in this state. In fact, they confide in a few friends around this time that they're thinking of cancelling the surgery altogether because they don't believe any doctor knows how to treat them with kindness and patience, and believes no one will ever understand what it's like...

#2021

...But they waited it out anyway. As it's been such a staple of their life by now, they eventually had stopped resisting so much and just accepted it. So when the time came to finally do the follow-up surgery, they couldn't wait for the chance for things to change.

When they met with the same doctor again, he recognized them immediately. "It's hard to forget operating on a teenager," he said. CT and CAT scans were done before they finally got the clearance for the surgery. They were almost at a kind of hopeful peace lying in the hospital bed as their conciousness faded...

Recovery was a nightmare for the catenby. For about a week, they were in so much pain they couldn't speak. Eating was extremely difficult. The sheer amount of pressure on their sinuses made them think they were dying. But as with all things, it faded with time, and eventually they got back on their feet.

But they noticed something extraordinary...

For a while after the surgery, a number of health problems seemed to just vanish. This one has suffered from chronic pain for years now and was beyond amazed to see their proneness to migraines, sensitivity to touch, their insomnia, their radiating numbness, their fear... just melt away. It was a miracle. They couldn't help but let everyone know. It was extraordinary.

And then, about a month later, it went away, with no explanation. Right back to how it was before.

2022

Needless to say, that was very disheartening. They never even knew their nose could be connected to such problems, but here they are. Weeks of rumination gave way to crackpot theories about how a nose injury could ruin someone's life through "chronic oxygen deprivation". The kittenby latched onto this theory and ran with it. It seemed the most plausible explanation.

A few months have passed. It's January of 2022. There's some... incredibly stressful things going on the kid's life that they're doing everything to avoid. So any opportunity to get out of the house was welcome. And when their nose surgeon offered them an experimental treatment with a high success rate that didn't even require surgery, they jumped at the chance.

But it wasn't all happy. A few nights before the operation, the kid's parents met with them. They sat them down and laid bare that the surgery isn't covered by insurance and they'll have to pay out of pocket... about $12,000. But because they love their kid so much, they're ready to do anything for their relief.

The Vivaer treatment went off without a hitch. It only took about half an hour. No sedation was required. And when they left, this catperson felt extremely hopeful.

Over the next few weeks, once again, they seemed completely and utterly invincible. They could walk, not just walk but jog, skip, and run, without pain. They could bend over and look up and down and all around. They found themselves twirling in giddy circles out in public. They slept better, their body felt soft and smooth and amazing, their head didn't hurt anymore.

They were abled.

...

And then, a few weeks later, just like clockwork, everything came to an abrupt stop.

Back to square one.

...

 

Time passes. Several months. They're left despairing, mourning over their once again lost ability. It's amazing to them that they survived for so many years like this. The difference earlier that year was night and day.

A few follow-up visits with the ENT later and he told them some unfortunate news. Apparently all the surgery had damaged their nose even worse than ever before, several ligaments and pieces of cartilage had detached, and it was set to fall apart.

There was also apparently a gigantic hole in their septum. He said it "wasn't big enough to worry about" because the size meant it wouldn't gather much crust, and in fact would increase airflow if one nasal cavity was blocked. But, still... that wasn't good.

There was only one option left. The doctor referred our stray, desperate catperson to a plastic surgeon. The visit was... intense. The kid was using the walker they'd been using for a few years up to that point because of the chronic pain they felt all over. They and their mom talked to the plastic surgeon in his gaudy little office with his glass wall and shelf of trophies.

But they made the biggest mistake. The kid started to ramble on about their "chronic oxygen deprivation" theory to a licensed doctor who knows the face inside and out. After several minutes of listening, he finally spoke up.

Their expectations were too high, he said. Their theory was nuts, he said. Regardless of if it's true, they shouldn't stake their entire life on the outcome of this visit. He's just one doctor, after all. He doesn't make miracles.

He took their mom aside to another room for several minutes. When the two came back, she had been crying. He told the catenby that their mom believes them and just wants them to be abled again. There's too much pressure here. But the plastic surgeon did all he could to mediate things.

And then he laid out the plan for the operation.

Reconstruction and revision rhinoplasty and septoplasty. A full reconstruction on the nose. Cartilage would have to be taken from a rib. They would be under the knife for 7 hours. They would be recovering for upwards of 6 months. As the two sat there in awe, he went on with his terms.

They would have to seek a psychiatrist to give approval that they were "of sound mind" to have such an operation. Apparently, having your face reconstructed can cause intense body dysphoria that some need serious help to survive. They'd also need to keep their mom informed at all times.

That was something the kid was willing to work with... but it wasn't as easy as it sounded.

2023

It's been so long. So goddamn long. So long that she figured out she was actually a girl, in fact.

It seems that whatever happened with the second surgery and the Vivaer treatment oddly helped, in a way. Ever since that visit where she got the news, she hasn't had to scrape out her nose almost at all. It might be very visibly bent and drooping down her face, but it works. She can breathe through it as much as she wants, it doesn't cause problems while asleep, and it hasn't fallen apart yet...

But that isn't to say that's how it should end. Whatever happened to the plastic surgery? Yeah... it didn't happen.

She spent months, YEARS, calling psychiatrist after psychiatrist. Asking every single one to provide a referral to this plastic surgeon. Asking about "of sound mind". Every single one turned her down. Apparently, "psychiatrists don't do this and haven't since the nineties", and "you need to tell this doctor if he'll accept a note from a psychologist instead".

She saw multiple psychologists and therapists in this time, too. And she asked each one. A few tried to give such notes to the office, but were rejected. She learned during a session one day that her therapist called the plastic surgeon's office to talk to them, and was told the girl still needs to see a psychiatrist, that this means nothing.

But that's not even the infuriating part for our catgirl. She's been calling the plastic surgeon's office. A lot. Several times a week, a month, she'd call. She'd get the same boring receptionist on the other end. She'd never get a straight answer. The lady would take her information, say she'd "tell the doctor you called", and she'd never hear back. No phone call, no text, no email.

This happened dozens of times. There was virtually zero communication between the plastic surgeon's office and our heroine. But she'd done everything she could.

2024

...Over a year and a half of nonsense later, she'd basically given up. Even though this plastic surgeon was apparently one of 4 qualified to do a facial reconstruction of this caliber in the united states (according to him)... well, he wasn't letting her have that operation, was he?

It'd been 2 years since she was promised this life-changing operation now. She's reached an almost zen-like state at this point, not thinking about her nose injuries almost at all. It is what it is, and she tried to change it but couldn't. Thinking about the plastic surgeon just makes her blind with rage, so she doesn't. She pours herself into her work, her friends, her hobbies.

But despite all the hardships she's had with health professionals in general, she's learned that there's always hope. It may not come when you need it, and it may not always pay off, but there's hope.

Which is why in late 2024 she found herself seeking treatment for the chronic migraines she's had since she was a child. That didn't seem very relevant to her, but still, why not improve her life if she had the resources to?

The doctor she saw for migraines discovered herniated discs and sinus cysts in her head through an MRI. Now, she didn't know this at the time, but those are apparently both common, especially cysts, and in fact her ENT from so long ago had found them too but remarked they didn't warrant any treatment.

But it gave her hope. After being almost completely detached from all this nose stuff for a few years, she was suddenly pulled back in. To hope. That there might be an explanation for her pain, her circumstances, that it can be treated.

She learned her lesson, though. Don't put all your hope on one crack theory. So, when she saw a new ENT on October 10th, 2024, she was as honest and truthful as possible.

Much to her good fortune, this ENT seemed friendly, eager to meet her, listened to everything she had to say, and threw in some suggestions and ideas of his own.

 

According to him... the surgeries weren't what gave her those fleeting weeks of freedom, of ability, of a peek at a pain-free life. It must have been the treatments she was taking to recover from the surgeries, ie. nasal salines and rinses. He believed it was the huge sinus hole's fault for her chronic sinus headache and pressure behind the face. Apparently, it must be causing a constant flow of grime and filth into her sinuses, preventing them from ever fully emptying, sometimes filling them to capacity.

That makes a lot of sense, honestly. And this is coming straight from a trained ENT's mouth. This is incredibly hopeful news for her. She may not have guessed right about the cause, but she had an explanation. But it gets better for her.

He not only prescribed her some nasal sprays to try, some antibiotics and steroids to help with the sinus pressure for a while, and scheduled her for further scans to rule out any other problems...

But he offered to refer her to a psychiatrist at the same location who could give an "of sound mind" certification.

This is... unreal. She hasn't called him in so long. It's been over 2 years since she met him and he laid out how severe her situation is and how much she'd need to sacrifice at a shot at getting help. But now he's brought back into the picture again.

Maybe, just maybe, she hopes... she'll get another chance to talk to him. To see him face to face. To put this plan into motion. To get help...

To live normally, without all the trouble one nose injury causes.