Hello all! It's been a while since I wrote here, but this is the perfect time, with 2025 ending and the new year 2026 upon us. 2025 was rough on some, maybe even many people, especially because of a certain change in administration. But for us, our 2025 was positive, transformative, uplifting in ways I could have never dreamed. At the risk of repeating myself from some of my previous posts, I'm gonna do a recap: Where we've been (recap) TW: health crisis, medical system, mentions of narcissistic abuse At the beginning of this year, I was in a bad place. My wrist problems had been worsening for a few years, which I'd been hiding behind a wrist brace, but they got to the point I couldn't hide them anymore. Something else was brewing too, this sensation like the nerves in my arms would burst into flames if they touched something too hard. I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I ended up bedridden for a few months since around March of this year. I would spend every day in my bedroom, laid ou

Our shoulder surgery is tomorrow (Oct 7th). It'll be our seventh surgery this year, and at least twelfth total. Unlike the others this year, I'm not looking forward to this one. Yes, it's important and necessary, but I've been led to believe the recovery will be harsher than the wrists and elbows. Even though we have a ways to go, our wrists and arms are currently doing a lot better than 1-2 months ago - and this surgery will set us back immediately, since we'll be in a cast again. I just learned our arrival time will be 5:30 AM, which is actually perfect, because our sleep is nocturnal right now. I also want to share what's been going on medically for the past month, because it's been a wild ride. OT OT went pretty okay, same as usual. There was a few highs and lows. I learned our grip strength has measurably improved since we started coming! That gave me some hope, even though our neck procedure left our arms and wrists in worse shape than before for a while. I was slowly but surely

Hey again, friends. This isn't the super giant health-related post I promised, that'll have to wait - I think this one is more important and personal for now. Today, we tried to go to a certain pain management clinic. We've been there before, it's the guy who acted smug about tai chi. We don't like him, clearly, but I went solely because I wanted to test if getting more of those "trigger point injections" would help our pain somewhat. The first time, it had helped the same day, because the lidocaine numbed all the pain in the shoulders and neck. It had felt amazing, but it only lasted for about 6 hours. He had said the first time around that we'll have to come back about every 2 months for more trigger point injections, to keep ourselves functional with our fibro. We may not trust or like him, but I wondered if he perhaps said this for a reason? Anyway, that's why I had tried to come here today. I entered the lobby and started signing in on the clipboard. While I was writing, the recep

Hello, all. It is sunny. I just had the last surgery in this series of wrist and elbow related surgeries. The surgery went okay and I surprisingly can still bend my left elbow a little bit. They did not even give me a sling. I suppose this means it is pretty safe. Also, I still have anesthesia in my system. It is hard to write this post. But that is not why I am making this post. I want to tell you about something else that happened today. Eir uses me for pain management. This means I was switched in whenever the surgery started. And also after I woke up I was still in control of the body. The recovery period immediately after waking up led to a series of events culminating in a verbal fight and pure anger. The nurse's name is Penny. I met her when I woke up. She was trying to help me recover and in doing so, calmly and kindly helped me get some water, get my clothes on and get dressed. I had to wait for a while especially because neither my brother or my mother had arrived yet. They

For once, I have some exciting news to share about the health situation. Today I met with the wrist surgeon who operated on me in February and cured my carpal tunnel in both arms. I explained the situation as best I could. Everything involving the spine surgeon, the EMG, the ulnar nerve that was suspected but not confirmed. I was terrified he wouldn't believe me. He listened fervently and made lots of facial expressions. I really wasn't sure what to think. He said first, "okay, I'm going to choose to believe you. We do not have to do the EMG. Fuck the EMG." (yes he actually cussed! i thought it was cool) He went on to explain why he chose this. He believes after testing my arms and wrists that I do have ulnar nerve, or Cubital Tunnel as he called it. He believes he can treat it with surgery. Important bits: He will schedule surgery for me ASAP. I am to expect a call today or tomorrow to schedule the surgery. I sincerely hope this won't take several weeks to schedule like it did the fi

(CW: Injury, body horror, mentions of surgery, self-injury) 2003 A little kid gets on his tricycle. He's riding around outside. His mom is watching nearby. It seems like a normal day. That is, until the trike hits a snag in the concrete, sending the boy tumbling off the side. His nose smashes clean into the pavement. He's just lying there looking up. The mom rushes over and helps, taking him inside and getting him cleaned up. It hurt a lot, but surely it would be fine. Over the next few weeks, he starts to have trouble breathing through his nose. It hurts more and more every day. At one point he curiously pries open a nostril with two fingers in front of the mirror. There's some kind of gross, fleshy something inside. With no idea what to do, he tells his mom and tries to show her, but it's ultimately fruitless. 2009 The boy's more sapient now, and attending primary school. He hasn't thought about that accident in years. But it's brought back to the front of his mind when other kids ar