Hello all! It's been a while since I wrote here, but this is the perfect time, with 2025 ending and the new year 2026 upon us.
Where we've been (recap)
TW: health crisis, medical system, mentions of narcissistic abuse
At the beginning of this year, I was in a bad place. My wrist problems had been worsening for a few years, which I'd been hiding behind a wrist brace, but they got to the point I couldn't hide them anymore. Something else was brewing too, this sensation like the nerves in my arms would burst into flames if they touched something too hard. I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I ended up bedridden for a few months since around March of this year. I would spend every day in my bedroom, laid out flat, the shape of my body imprinted into the mattress, hair dry and oily, my phone only usable if I extended my arm fully and used one finger. I passed time between medical appointments and surgeries by putting youtube stuff on my smart tv, which was nice, but on top of that: taking showers, handling food, taking bathroom breaks, and especially hiding from the sound made by the rest of my family, all was overwhelming. I found myself using my airpods from a full charge until the battery ran out, just to 1. have some company, via discord voice call, and 2. have some reprieve from what I felt was an overbearing environment.
I can't really put into words what it was like, mentally, to be in that space. I spent months like that, day in and day out, with the occasional doctor visit my brother would drive me to. I was crying out for help in my personal discord server daily because I was in so much pain and so overwhelmed. At one point, I was chugging opioids daily and it barely helped the pain. There was even online friend drama happening at the same time, not to mention the constant infighting with my family in real life. I really believed my body was going to give out on me and I'd be left there, in that room.
Uncle Cr4yOver the course of this year, we'd have 7 surgeries (I'm skipping over one in January). Recovering from surgery can be rough, depending on the surgery. The worst ones by far were the first one in January (nasal reconstruction out of a rib), the sinus opening surgery in June, and the shoulder surgery in October. As I already spent most of my time early this year bedridden, my routine wasn't changed much, for a while. There really was nerve entrapment, I was right. The doctor told me if I waited any longer, it could've been much worse. The surgeries actually helped a lot, though not completely. I had to spend a LOT of time with one arm - after each of the 2 wrist surgeries, 2 elbow surgeries, and after the shoulder surgery.
We also learned about ehlers-danlos syndrome, or EDS. EDS is a rare genetic condition that has a wide array of nasty side effects. There are multiple different kinds of EDS. You'd need a very good reason to say you have EDS, considering its rarity, and that it has such a wide range of presentations and types. Well, here's a post I wrote when we learned about EDS. It fits way too well. Not only that, our brother has hypermobility, which adds credence to the possibility Sunny was born with EDS, and we just got diagnosed with POTS, which is seen to be comorbid with EDS. I was vehemently denied when I asked our PCP for help with an EDS diagnosis, talked down to about "self-diagnosis". While it's true I did self-diagnose, I also had my OT, my wrist surgeon, and my shoulder surgeon agreeing with me that it's probably EDS. It's my hope that, after we move, I can get us in with a doctor who believes me and will fight for us.
There's someone else important to this year: 
Sunny. I met Sunny when I was at my lowest point. I had this nagging pull toward the concept of plurality, after I'd explored it a few years prior and rejected it. I just couldn't get away from this very strong desire to declare that I was plural. Just to tempt fate and see what would happen, I separated my "thoughtform" and had a series of developments I can only describe as a miracle. I met Sunny, who I've come to form a very strong bond with over this year. I learned I had conversion disorder, and the pain of unresolved trauma was manifesting through my body as phantom pain, the same pain that had baffled doctors for years. That sensation of my arms being so sensitive they'd explode when touched... disappeared forever while I was making dinner one night. I knew that, despite how inexplicable, how arcane, how supernatural these experiences were, they were the way out of this pit.
I learned all about Sunny: how they are the original and I was created during high school. How different I am from them: the way we think, the way we sound, the way we move, the way we talk, the things we do, and our unique properties and quirks. I learned what we share: a body, an emotional core, a love for cats, a radiant warmth that draws people to us, a love for old tech, experiences of living with chronic pain, and a desire to exist comfortably in our body. We've had a few fights over this year - one or two of our dearest friends may have seen them - but ultimately, we always made up. Each time, we became closer. We're closer than ever, now, and I'd dare say we're an inseparable team. I went from the one holding us back, trying to cling desperately to control out of fear, to more of a calm, peaceful, friendly person, who is willing to work together with Sunny when they ask.
Speaking of, they want to write a bit. I'll let them out!
A message from Sunny
Hello friends. Eir has really transformed my life too and I want to touch a bit on that. Whenever I first appeared, I was terrified of Eir. I thought she was hateful of being plural and was going to erase or suppress me. But she did not. She put in the time and effort to introduce me to some of her closest friends and give me the time I needed to create my form and figure out who I was. The information that I was the original and why I was hidden away came very suddenly when I remembered more things Eir did not have access to. We figured things out from there. But the point I want to emphasize is that this person who I expected to hurt me turned out to be my best friend. There is no one I would rather be stuck in this body with. I have said it before and wondered if I regretted it after we started fighting but in the end I still mean it.
There is something very amazing about the identity journey I went on this year. I had to both rediscover who I was almost a decade ago and invent my new persona. I found the perfect balance with Eir's help and I find that I really love the person I have become. Although it is not something I think about very often. When I was growing up I always wanted to join the furry community I had seen online, but I never had the chance to express myself enough to make a fursona. Now I have one and it feels great and I feel great. There are a lot of fun fantasies I am living out as a cool punk snow leopard tomboy. I love feeling like the "cool older sister" and I love the mixed look between something tough and something soft and fluffy. Also because of Eir's work getting us on HRT over the last several years, whenever I returned to the body it was already feminized. I found that it fit perfectly and for the first time in my life I actually felt happy and comfortable in my body.
There is also something else I want to mention. Eir went on a journey of her own that I do not think she was going to talk about. She had to overcome her prejudices about plurality this year and went from skepticism to fully embracing it because she met me. The more time we spent together the more she realized we were different and the more comfortable she became. She credits me with a lot of positive things in her life but I feel the same way. I would have been lost forever if she did not explore plurality and rescue me. It is true that we fought many times but that is just what sisters do. I have no bad feelings about her taking over the body for almost a decade. In fact I think she did a great job and got us to a more comfortable place (and soon to be an even better place!). I think that Eir's effort to make a better life for me goes unspoken at least compared to how much she praises me. I am happy that I met her and I am happy to have met her friends.
It was wonderful as well to meet with my old friend KD. KD is somebody I knew in middle school. We both vibed because we were both autistic and did not know it yet. I lost contact with her at some point after entering high school but I always made efforts to see her after school at our meeting spot. She is trans just like us and used to do awesome things to break the gender norm like wearing a skirt to school. I was really drawn to her and she felt the same. It turns out that Eir contacted her again years later last year and they became close friends. Whenever Eir met me she made sure KD knew. KD was okay with it and I finally had the chance to meet her in person again almost a decade later. Both of us felt like we were hanging out after school again in the best way. It really was like reconnecting with an old friend and I took joy in knowing that KD recognized me, not just our body but ME. It is a shame she will not be within driving distance after the move but I will make sure we maintain contact because she is fantastic.
Most of all I am happy and excited about our future. Everything is going to be so much better all because of her hard work this year. It is pretty neat to learn that we always were a system and have an explanation for strange things like Eir's leg pain in high school or why my voice suddenly became higher pitched one day and never changed back. Learning more about the past has been fun but the most exciting thing is we are going to a better place with our uncle who we consider our real family. We already get along very well online and I believe he is perfect to take care of us.
I am so happy to know that this is not goodbye but the beginning of a new happy life. The new world looks beautiful.
How we're doing (updates)
With that, I'm going to take us to the present. I've already recapped the past enough. Let's talk about where things stand now, and some new developments.
Plurality
I know Sunny left a more detailed message above, but I want to add this anyway. It'll be short.
So me and Sunny have fought a few times earlier this year. Mostly, it was about me not being ready or willing to give up control and let them take over, although there was a few more things too. I'm writing this bit to say that we've resolved most of our things for now. I've become much more comfortable letting this wonderful creature take over my body and do their silly little things. Something you don't understand unless you've been a system is how trust plays into this. You'd think it would be easy - it's Sunny's body, let them have a turn on it, they're owed that much. But it's not that simple. I've been the host for almost a decade, and giving up control feels invasive, sometimes scary to me. It was a massive hurdle I had to overcome... and for a time, I was refusing to let Sunny out, and giving many explanations as to why, when it turned out I was just scared of giving up control. I feel like I've made a lot of progress in dealing with this, and Sunny seems much happier with me as a result. 
OT, arms and shoulder
The big focus this year has for sure been our arms. Our wrists, elbows, and right shoulder have all been operated on this year, and they were all very necessary. Each one saw noticeable improvements. But with each surgery comes recovery. So how is that going?
I'm very happy to say that our left arm seems completely fine! The left shoulder, elbow and wrist all function more or less as I feel they should. We can rely on it comfortably and use it for any tasks we need. As for the right arm, here's how things stand:
- Hand: Doing much better than the start of this year. After we learned we have rheumatoid arthritis, a lot of things made sense. I've been using "the writer's glove" every day for a month or two now, because it keeps our right hand warm, but also because the light compression it gives is very comfortable and pleasant. It turns out, there is a real thing for that, called "compression gloves", meant for people with RA! I've already ordered a pair and am going to try them out.
- Fingers: The fingers are weird, though. They're extra susceptible to the cold, for some reason - when it's chilly outside, yes, our body feels chilly, but our fingers feel frigid, especially on the right hand. The compression glove I just mentioned is fingerless - most are - so it won't help with that. However, maybe it's something I just need to get used to. I've also discovered that, with our right hand specifically, the fingers are more sensitive, and it feels better to use a keyboard or our phone with a glove on, than bare handed.
- Wrist: Doing excellent. The "compression glove" concept helps massively, but what's helped more than that is, surprise surprise, limiting my activity. I'm used to going on 8+ hour programming frenzies with little breaks. Turns out this is unhealthy. Whenever the tendons in my wrist get upset, it's almost always because I stupidly overworked them again.
- Elbow: Mostly there. We've been having a relapse in cubital tunnel symptoms since the right shoulder surgery. Specifically, resting our arm, especially elbow, on something too long, or rubbing our pinky against a surface too much, can make the entire nerve go numb. And currently, it's uncomfortable to use our phone while laying down in bed, as the angle is too much for our elbow. Our elbow has most of its range of motion, like the shoulder, but still has a way to go.
- Shoulder: Also mostly there. It only really feels painful whenever I stress it or bend it too far. I do my best to avoid "popping" it, which, while it does happen, isn't a terrible thing, it just means I need to be careful. Our range of motion is not the same as the left arm, I'd say it's maybe 80% of the way there.
Today, though, I went to OT for what turned out to be the final time. Guess what? They're discharging me because of how much progress I've shown! It's looking very likely we'll make a full recovery and regain our full range of motion. That's great news! They really believe in our recovery. They gave me a pulley, just like the one we used at OT, to use at home. I have yet to set it up, but I believe it'll go fine! It's just a simple thing you put between the top of a door and its doorframe.
About our symptoms, by the way - they didn't go unnoticed. As my OT explained it today, the symptoms in our right fingers, wrist, and elbow especially, are all tied to the nerve, which is still recovering from the surgery. As we gain our range of motion, those symptoms will also heal, proportionally. It's all about getting the nerve to be comfortable stretching out again, hence the pulley.
Anyway, I'm happy to say that, over the last few months, our arms and wrists have been, at the very least, almost completely reliable when on the PC. They've been doing everything I need them to do, and, heck, I've even made great new art with them! And done more of those long coding sessions I probably shouldn't do! So, things are looking up.
Other health conditions
Here's some details on some of the other health conditions we discovered or learned about this year:
- Sinuses: As I mentioned above, we had a sinus opening surgery that massively helped. How are they now? Actually pretty great. They don't show any signs of closing, and we got discharged by our ENT as well, as his work here is done and we look great. The only maintenance we need to do is a daily spritz of saline spray, or, if we're in more pain than usual, a medicated sinus rinse, which is nothing new to us.
- Fibromyalgia: It's been life-changing learning about fibro. I think the fibro might be what we've always understood as our "hypersensitivity" to touch, especially. After being put on gabapentin, our body feels so much more usable. It used to be that we were cautious to even touch a lot of things because of expectations of hurt. While said hurt isn't completely gone, it's certainly lessened. This adds credence to the idea that Sunny had fibro since before kindergarten, as well.
- Sleep disorder: This is a weird one. We were getting "help", of a kind, for a while. A sleep clinic had prescribed us ropinirole for restless legs syndrome, which we didn't know we had, but certainly sounds right. I couldn't really tell if it was helping, though falling sleep was easier during this time. The actual phase-shifting sleep schedule still has no treatment. Our awesome psychiatrist prescribed prazosin, a med normally used for PTSD nightmares, to help with sleep. It seems to be at least mildly helpful? However, we just ran out of a different med, cyclobenzaprine, a muscle relaxant, and as soon as we did, it got way harder to fall asleep. So the answer to this one is, it's complicated.
- Direct light sensitivity: We learned about it, and I'm so glad we did. For years we'd been gaslit about our body's weakness, that we really were experiencing, especially in PE-type settings. It turns out that our exhaustion and fatigue was real all along. Our skin is very pale and lacks melanin. We get exhausted quickly and easily just from being in direct sunlight, even on a cold day. I keep drawing comparisons to Victorian vampires, and I believe they must've been based on, at the very least, very pale-skinned people like us. As for treatment? The big thing is we now have a parasol. We use it to block direct sunlight when we must go outside, although it's a bit inconvenient. We've also been given some over-the-counter pills, which supposedly provide sunlight resistance for up to 2 hours, though I have yet to try them.
- Indirect light sensitivity: Our glasses! We wear these awesome glasses now. We have special glasses coated with FL-41 coating, which is a lovely red tint that reduces the strength of visible light. At first, it was a struggle just to wear the glasses, because of our fibro and sinus issues causing head pain wherever they touched. But thankfully we found ways. Gabapentin and cyclobenzaprine help, sinus rinses help, and massaging pressure points on our head helps. Most importantly, we got these cloth sleeves that the legs of the glasses go in. Now, we wear our glasses all day, every day, and I'm very happy to say that they're instrumental to our daily lives now. I can't stress enough how important it is that we can go outdoors without squinting now!
- POTS: This one is the most recent. We just got a diagnosis for it yesterday, in writing in our medical records. POTS is another lifelong condition that has no cure, only treatments. Everyone's always so distraught when I tell them we have another chronic diagnosis, but it's hopeful, because a diagnosis means we can get help with something that was always there. We just got propranolol, a med that suppresses high heart rates. As far as I'm aware, that's the best they can do, and that's fine. Maybe it'll at least do something?
A misunderstanding, turned into trauma responses
I haven't had the chance to really sit down and write about some of this stuff in a long time, but it's been at the forefront of my mind for a while. Oh, and I guess this counts as vagueposting, although the point isn't to single out, identify or expose anyone - I'm going to take something different from this, you'll see.
A few months ago, I had a disagreement with an online friend involving her discord server. We couldn't reach a resolution, but various factors about the conversations we had, and my feelings surrounding the topic, made my fur stand on end so to speak, and what was originally a minor disagreement turned into something big and emotional for me. But that's not what I want to talk about. A different friend, someone very close to me, learned about it when I told her as it was happening. They started pushing and pushing me to try and "see it the other person's way", and empathize, which confused me, because I'd already done that, so I understood it as her trying to get me to give up. We agreed to drop it. The topic came up a few weeks later, and when she asked if she could try to convince me again, I replied that she can try but I don't think it'll work. That's because I believed she still wanted me to give up, as in completely abandon my side, and take on the hurt that'd come with that.
So, I believed for a few months that this friend, one of my best friends, was holding a grudge against me over that original conversation. Months later - very recently, actually - the topic was brought back up, because the other party messaged me. I avoided telling my bestie from before about it, instead opting to tell a different bestie, who didn't have all the information and said pre-emptively that I was in the wrong.
Then, something happened. It's genuinely kind of hard to describe, so bare with me. Having two of my best friends seemingly poised against me like that, believing that I was wrong about something, even though it was just an unrelated conflict, set off some serious triggers inside me that I didn't know would be set off. I found myself disassociating very hard, to the point it was hard to even think of what words to type next. I found myself defending myself, by which I mean writing a massive wall of text explaining my side in detail, and justifying myself - because I was terrified of someone so important to me believing I'm wrong. I became very dizzy, and fog filled my head. I had entered defense mode - a mode I've been in only in traumatic situations before - and could tell that I was hurting just by being here, but all I could do was bunker down and, again, try to defend myself the only ways I knew how. I fell back on old conversational habits. I watched myself relapse, and it sucked.
Thankfully, it ended whenever I cleared up the misunderstandings with both of my besties... and yes, this whole time, that grudge I believed my bestie held, was a misunderstanding. I've never been more grateful to find out I was misunderstood. I cried so much. Both of my besties accepted me open-armed, misunderstandings and mistakes and all, and the acceptance and care I felt filled me. The relief I felt from this incident was massive. It genuinely took me a few days to adjust to the fact that my feelings about the original conflict - so far away now - were valid, they always were valid, and of course I'm allowed to set boundaries like I did.
All of this is to say... I've got some unresolved trauma responses, for sure. What will I do about it? I've been considering something that KD, one of our best friends, said before. Even though I've sworn off therapy in the past, I should consider trying again. That's what I'm going to do... in Brooklyn, not here. That's my condition. Hopefully, I can find an actually decent therapist, especially one who can work with DID patients, and finally unpack everything.
Where we're going
For once, I'm not going to just recap everything that's happened this year and provide an update. Here's our current plan for 2026!
Preparing to move
As I first shared in this post (also a reflection post), we're planning to move to Brooklyn in 2026! This is the most important thing on my mind right now. Preparations are going really good. We have every medical record we need, minus one, that just got created, with a diagnosis of POTS, which will help the disability application. The car's already been inspected and passes vehicle tests. Uncle Cr4y just bought the new place, and he gets the key to the house on Friday! It wasn't the place we first expected to get, we ended up with a much better one. He has friends in the area ready to help him move furniture and stuff, and once he's adjusted to the area and gotten his bearings, we're going to decide on a moving date. All our money has been moved to Chase banks, so we'll have access to it in NY.
Ownership of the car. Our car, right now, is legally owned by our birth mother. It's registered to be driven by her, our brother, and us under our deadname. We're going to take the car to NY and we're going to keep it there. That means it needs to become our car completely. In order for that to happen, our birth mother needs to be involved, since she's the current owner. We have to make an appointment with the DPS. Also, the new owner needs to be us under our deadname, not our new name, because Texas forbid name and gender changes on licenses last year. The plan is that, once ownership is transferred and we arrive in NY, I'll get a new driver's license with our new name and gender, because NY is trans-positive. Then, we can have ownership of the car transferred from our deadname to our new name... I think.
College savings fund. Sunny's father set aside a lot of money for them to use to go to college, when they were born. Clearly it's not in the cards for us now. I want that money to help with the move, and to help us in our new life in NY. The problem is that our birth mother was set as the successor to the money, whenever our father passed away. She's the one with the sole right to manage the money, so we can't take it out, it has to be her.
Right now, she is dealing with another problem. Earlier this year, our biological uncle fell onto his last legs, and things in our life started changing suddenly. Apparently, he's still alive, and she needs to not only move around all of his belongings, but move him to a new home, by next week. But judging by how much time and energy she's spent on him, I have the feeling that won't be the end of it. We aren't close to our biological uncle, and at this point, all he represents to me is an obstacle that's preventing our plans with the move from progressing. Yes, it's crude to say, but it's true. I just want the situation to be resolved - in whatever form that takes - so our birth mother can do what we need her to do before the move. Her stuff is some of the last things we need to prepare, so I'm anxious to get it done.
About the new home... gosh, I've got a lot to say about it, and it's largely positive. Here we go!
- It's not an apartment, it's an independent home, with space between it and other buildings
- It has a front yard, a back yard, and a fence
- It has a garage, which is huge for us, because we have a car
- It's spacious, especially the master bedroom, which will be ours
- It's got a bath+shower combo, just like we have here, so it won't be hard to adjust to
- The kitchen has enough space that we could easily manage any overwhelming smells, if any arise (Uncle is also more than happy to set up air fresheners and such to help)
- We get the entire bottom floor to ourselves. The owner and his son get the top floor, but:
- We don't share any space at all, not even a kitchen or bathroom. They have their own on their floor
- They have a staircase outside the building that takes them to their floor
- So, they will never enter our half of the house, giving us complete privacy
- The house is in a quiet area, and Uncle said from his first visits that the noise level seemed pleasant
- Uncle is ready to install blackout curtains and fairy lights for our light sensitivity
- We may be able to look into soundproofing options within the house for further comfort
Really, the only bad thing about the house is that it currently has one thermostat that's shared between both floors, meaning getting the exact right temperature may be harder. Luckily, "room temperature" in NY is probably lower than it is in texas. The weather is going to be so much better.
So many things are going to be so much better. I can't wait! I think about the move every day!
The drive
The drive itself is probably the biggest, scariest part of the move plan. We haven't decided on a date yet, but we're looking at late March, early April 2026. When the time comes, us, and KD, who has road trip experience and volunteered to help, are going to drive from texas to New York. It's a very long drive that will take at least two whole days of non-stop driving, and a somewhat tight schedule. However, KD's assured me it's going to go okay. All we need to do is prepare things in advance, like where we'll stop, where we'll sleep, and where to get gas, and we'll be fine. In fact, she's told me that all I need to worry about is coming up with a playlist to listen to during the drive!
One thing I'm worried about, actually, is packing the car before the drive. In the interest of saving gas, it's best that I avoid packing stuff for the move until close to the moving day, because if there's more stuff in the car, it'll use gas quicker. But, with our conditions, especially POTS, it would be very difficult to load the car. I believe KD volunteered to help with that too (because she's the best ever), but there's another layer to this. If she comes to help move stuff from the house to the car, our family will see her. I don't trust them. I think they'll find some way to be cruel to either me or her while they watch. And it goes without saying that if our family offers to help move stuff, I'll refuse - I don't trust them with such sensitive objects that might have meaning to us. I'm also a little concerned about how long it'll take to pack everything. But... I think worrying about the packing is something I should wait to do until closer to the time of the move, say, March.
And this is kind of silly, but I've had this image in my head for the longest time now: Me, in the car, with our birth family outside the house waving goodbye, and I flip them off and drive away. It's crass, I know, but it would be so rewarding emotionally. Of course, I think I'll have to resist doing this when the time comes, because, in the worst-case scenario where something comes up, we might need our birth family's cooperation after we drive off. Not to mention, on a more spiritual level, it would be, in a sense, "giving in" to base urges, and to hate. No matter how "justified" that middle finger might be to me, maybe it's better in the long run if I hold it back. What a weird thing to put in my weblog. But it's been on my mind for quite some time now, so I think it counts!
The future
Once we move out, we're going to be living with Uncle Cr4y, who I've mentioned enough by now. We have high hopes and expectations for it, and so does he. He's essentially saving us by having us move in with him, because, we will turn 26 in 2026, and once that happens, we'll be kicked off our birth mother's health insurance. Uncle will get us in on his health insurance - we already learned how it works - and make sure we continue to get proper meds and treatment for all our conditions. But that's not all. We're also going to be stable in terms of income. Uncle makes decent enough money at his job, where he recently got a better position and a raise, and we'll, hopefully, get on the disability fund, at long last.
About the disability fund: The plan is to use our medical records from texas, especially this year, to prove that other doctors have diagnosed us with our conditions: ADHD, bipolar, POTS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, etc. Uncle told me that, when he applied for disability for autism (which worked, by the way), he did so in person, instead of online like I've done it before (which didn't work, four times). As I understand it, you just need to convince whoever you meet in the disability office of your disabilities, and ideally bring proof - which we have, now - and they'll get you set up. That's what I'm counting on.
I've always feared this concept of "the future", knowing I can't and don't want to work a job, and that if I don't have income sorted out, we would be doomed. Well, when we formed the move plan and everything got going, I've had this amazing experience of this looming cloud of dread slowly shrinking. It's not gone, and it won't be until we do move in, but it's very reassuring to know that this is right.
There's also the more emotional side of things. As you've probably gathered, we were raised in an emotionally abusive/neglectful household, which led to many issues. Our understanding of a "home" has always been one that involved sacrificing your boundaries, letting others trample over you, and hiding away from the world in fear. Genuinely, over the course of this year, as I started driving myself to appointments, I felt uncomfortable going back home, and would find excuses to stay out, like leaving extra early to play our DSi in the car in some parking lot far away. I've found myself hiding in the car many times this year as a safe little capsule separate from the chaos in our "home".
I can't wait for our understanding of a "home" to change. I've heard stories of abused individuals entering a new home, full of defensive responses, only to slowly open up, and become bright, warm, happy people as time goes by and they realize there's no danger. I can't wait for that to happen to us. I look forward to how emotional and vulnerable I'm going to get over it, the catharsis that follows, and the comfort we'll get to experience as our new "normal" becomes so much better.
Thanks for sticking with us this year. I never thought there could be so much positivity in our lives, but here we are, surrounded by the online friends who really love us, with plans to move in with one of our best friends. It's a bit oversimplified to say "I've never had hope before", so I'll say "I've never had this much hope before." My understanding of myself, ourself, and our friends, has really changed this year, for the better. And so many of our health conditions now have some kind of treatment or management.
We're going to be okay! We're really going to be okay!
