So just when I think I'm getting used to using both my wrists again, a few things happen.
On the 26th, I randomly had a vasovagal response while calling my girlfriend and fainted on the floor painfully.
The day after, I got sharp and intense stomach pains and cramps and bad head feelings until I stuffed myself full of pizza.
Today, after working for several hours straight using both wrists, I suddenly had some of my original symptoms come back, ie. need to pop my wrists and sudden sharp pain when extending my arm.
Why? Whats going on?
So to be brief, the first two caused me no shortage of despair and fear over food stuff. I already struggle heavily with ARFID and its consequences. I've been told by many adults throughout my life that I'm starving severely, or I'm anorexic, or I'm malnutritioned. I've wondered if they were right before but this made me terrified of it. I scheduled an appointment on Monday the 3rd to get my blood tested for vitamin deficiencies. I'm hoping to replace as much as possible with supplements like I used to when I was little.
I also want to add I was heavily reminded recently of just how sensitive I am to the topic of food... some well meaning friends wanted to talk to me about food in a nonconfrontational way, but I was sent into high red alert just from the mention, and lashed out a little bit. I couldn't help it, I couldn't control myself. It majorly sucks to know that I have such a well defined sore spot. That I can't even try to have a basic conversation about what foods are safe for me because I have a fight or flight reaction to the topic.
As for the last thing, I have some theories. Specifically about my neck and shoulders. I've had extremely tense neck and shoulders since I was little. No idea why. They never eased up or lessened under any conditions. I've heard that a very tight neck can pinch the nerves leading to one's arms and wrists and that's what I suspect is happening. I anxiously tried rolling my shoulders and such and was met with such rigid resistance, constant popping, not smooth at all, it's obvious something's wrong. I've always had difficulty with "exercise" as treatment and I still don't really understand how it works or if it's just more neurotypical miracle cures. But what am I supposed to do about my neck and shoulders? Who do I see?
So... yeah. Quick post just to let you know. I was testing the waters of having both wrists back and while it's still a massive improvement over before, there's a lot to be desired and a lot of problems still. I really just want this to be over...
