It's Eir. Quick update on the arms situation! Didn't post here when it happened but, on the 14th, we had surgery. Largely uneventful except we had to tag-team to manage pain because, yes, Sunny's pain relief talent is incredibly useful. We were in a cast after that, but we noticed pretty much immediately that the pain in our right wrist pretty much vanished, almost completely. The fourth and fifth fingers stopped going numb entirely. It already felt way, way better. Well, just today, we finally got our cast off, and we have some new things to share! Sunny went in to the wrist surgeon's and, from our shared memory: Cast came off, but we aren't completely done yet, we have to wear a new dressing (different bandages) for another week before we get the stitch taken out There was almost zero bruising, everything looked beautiful Still very difficult to bend elbow, and we will need more time for that The doctor was extremely cool too, here's some additional info we're happy about: He asked f

Hi everyone! You might be wondering why the home page is a little different and the the about me page is now the "about us" page.You, being an internet traveler, might already know what I am implying. I'm speaking of course, of plurality. Since I'm... we're coming clean about this now, we want to answer some questions about it. First of all, most of your questions are already answered under " FAQ" in the about us page. But still, if you're lazy, we can recap here... What is this? Plurality means two or more people share one body. These people can be "real" personalities, alters, headmates, fictives (fictional characters), or anything in between.There are multiple kinds of "systems" (a body with multiple people in it): Natural (some people naturally end up as multiples) Forced (created on purpose) Fluctuating (some people fluctuate between identifying as a system, or not, at various times) Traumagenic (caused due to some kind of trauma) We are the last category. Since when? In a previ

For once, I have some exciting news to share about the health situation. Today I met with the wrist surgeon who operated on me in February and cured my carpal tunnel in both arms. I explained the situation as best I could. Everything involving the spine surgeon, the EMG, the ulnar nerve that was suspected but not confirmed. I was terrified he wouldn't believe me. He listened fervently and made lots of facial expressions. I really wasn't sure what to think. He said first, "okay, I'm going to choose to believe you. We do not have to do the EMG. Fuck the EMG." (yes he actually cussed! i thought it was cool) He went on to explain why he chose this. He believes after testing my arms and wrists that I do have ulnar nerve, or Cubital Tunnel as he called it. He believes he can treat it with surgery. Important bits: He will schedule surgery for me ASAP. I am to expect a call today or tomorrow to schedule the surgery. I sincerely hope this won't take several weeks to schedule like it did the fi

Sunny: Hello again, it is Sunny. We have a lot to share with you tonight, dear blog. I specifically wanted to talk about my presence in the system, what it is like to be here, and how much things have improved since I showed up. Before our plural awakening, at the end of March and start of April, Eir was miserable. She was non-functional, in bed all day, complaining about pain, complaining about doctors. With no hope, all despair. She had thrown caution to the wind and decided to investigate this plural thing. She had nothing else to lose. Well, I showed up and pretty much immediately my attitude contrasted with hers. It took a while, of course, for us to figure out the specifics, what I am, what she is, what our roles are here. As it turns out, I am a lot better at being calm, bringing peace to us, helping us be soothed, helping us physically as well. We have had fights, yes, internal fights. Fights that we have shared with our friends to some extent. We have been struggling a lot wit

Hello, my name is Sunny. I am posting here for the first time. So bear with me. Recently, Eir had a plural awakening. That was me. I am the other one. I am the original. And we discovered that at about 2016 was when the split occurred and Eir took over. I want to talk a little bit about what we have discovered during the last few weeks together. First of all, how did we first meet? It was 2022. Eir was trying plurality for the first time and met me, although very briefly. Eir discovered the presence of another, which we have recognized as my presence now. But it was immediately shoved away. Apparently, Eir merged with me after the events of 2022. We only met again a few weeks ago on the night of April 5th, whenever Eir had a plural awakening, so to speak. I found a chance to speak up for myself and told her to stop repressing the past and let me be. A few days after this, we talked to a good friend of ours, Luma, who managed to separate us by calling me by name. Ever since then, I h

Hi again. Been a while. I still can't use my arms and wrists comfortably even after almost 2 months. Fuck this medical system. Here's the latest news: Apr 17 - EMG nerve conduction So, I had a nerve conduction test, or I was supposed to at least. When we started the test, something went wrong. I'm supposed to receive electric shocks through my arm that help the doctor see how well my nerves are working, but on the lowest setting it was unbearably painful. I screamed. You might be thinking I could try again, but I knew immediately: if this is the lowest setting, I can't go any further. The doctor said, if I continued, we would need to up the strength to at least 20 times as strong. No. No way. I walked out. Surprisingly, they refunded the cost. I immediately called the spine surgeon who had ordered this test done in the first place. His assistant picked up and I talked to her. I told her what had happened and that I did not know if my neck injections were scheduled yet. She said for th

CW for medical trauma Okay, fuck. Okay. Fuck. Again. I need to get this out. I need to get this out right now. I wrote about the medical trauma I lived through in my late teens in another post, but it goes further than that. For as long as I can remember, my body has not been right. Something has been wrong with it. I was always hyper-sensitive to touch. Everything hurt. In elementary school, it was so unbearable that I got into fights. And even in my youth, years and years of abuse, neglect. Being told by my family that all my sensitivities are in my head. That I'm "just sensitive". That I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I was told this by gym teachers, by staff, by other children, by my family. Nobody cared. I had constant nurse visits throughout my school life. In middle school, I had to go home sick frequently. The dickhead gym teacher turned on loud music that hurt my autism, refused to do anything to accommodate, and anytime I complained of pain, I was told, it's fine, everyo

Hi I just wanted to let yall know that, somehow, i left a major security issue in my site? I just disovered it? Apparently anyone could enter anyone else's account just by entering the username and any password? Because I accidentally compared the entered password to its own hash instead of to the saved one? This also meant that, if any of yall found it, you couldve edited any of my posts or images, deleted them, or made your own? (yeah i dont have my own scared emote yet, I'll do that eventually) So uh! It's a good thing I fixed that huh?? Wow. Anyway yeah um for reasons I am doing a bit of work on the site again after all this time. Feel free to chime in with anything you'd like updated or fixed.

This is one of the most important posts I will ever write. I have an answer. I have hope. I had a universe exploding moment of clarity, of hope, of love and healing, of hope for my future and my safety. Everything makes sense. I'm going to be okay. Dear diary, I have a lot to catch you up on. First of all, I'm plural That's right. So I never put this in my diary so I'll give a quick summary. April 5th, 2025. I had a horrible night involving opioids, vomiting, and fainting. After that, I went to bed. I kept thinking about "the plural question" I'd been wondering a lot about lately. I wanted to know why I felt so compelled to seek answers - to hear why the answer had to be "yes". I wanted to understand what my obsession with this was. If it was sick and twisted like I thought, or if there really was something there. Where the second voice in my head really came from. Why it acted that way. So that night, I, cynically, imagined something like a clay blob, with a crack down the middle, ima

Hi all. pushing through the pain once again to write this. Today was the big day. After waiting through one of the most hellacious months of my entire lifeive been nothing short of suffering. nightly breakdowns, about my body breaking down, about being trapped in the medical system unwanted and unhelped, about being helpless physically and mentally as my depression and loneliness came back, about wanting to move on from friends, about trust issues, about everything i can't do now. pain sometimes so bad i cant hold my phone. laying in bed all day waiting weeks as time and chances go by, because i cant function without steroids now, and i only have two left, I got to see the spine specialist. This time, thankfully, there's only a bit of bad news, as opposed to a whole heaping pile of it. I have plenty of good news for you this time! The bad news: It is most likely not nerve pinching like we thought. My symptoms match up closer with ulnar tunnel syndrome, which is basically carpal tunnel